She has arrived!

8 days have passed since I gave birth to our healthy little girl. And not a day has gone by when I’ve not pinched myself in disbelief that this has really happened. It is surreal, and dreamlike. I’m a parent. I’m a Mom. We are a family. Everything everyone says is true. Our world has changed. Perspectives are different. Prerogatives have been realigned. Gratitude has been reinforced. Love has swelled beyond my wildest expectations. Appreciation of friends and family has breached boundaries. Although I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.

I also wanted to talk about my postpartum experience thus far. I am the lucky girl to have come down with PUPPP rash, which is Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. It started as an itchy patch a week or so before I gave birth. It then erupted as a itchy striated rash in a circular pattern on my entire belly. All of the nurses at the hospital, and my midwives thought it was an allergic reaction to the dressing they used in the operating room during my c-section, or the mesh hospital underwear. They gave me hydrocortisone cream, and denied me benedryl, because it could dry up breast milk. On my 3rd day there, a different bumpy type of rash started popping up on my knees and calves…the nurses weren’t concerned whatsoever. Today is day 8 postpartum, and the tiny-bumped rash has spread to every part of body except for my back and chest. I went to my primary care physician because all my midwife suggested was an oatmeal bath, and the itching is so bad that it wakes me up at night and I’m scratching so hard that I want to rip my skin off. My Dr. Immediately knew what is was…PUPPP….she prescribed me prednisone cream which has helped a lot already. How in the world were all of my healthcare providers who deal with birth, and pregnant women every day have no idea what I was experiencing. Yes, it’s a rash that has no immediate cure, except for giving birth…but it’s an extremely stressful rash that has an itch so bad that some women are even induced early for fear of skin infections developing from all of the scratching! No one is sure of the cause, it’s just one of those weird pregnancy things that can start in the 3rd trimester and last until around 15 days postpartum. Some say its a reaction to fetal cells, in other words an allergy to your own baby! Some say its linked to the sperm DNA… So, I’m sharing this in hope that it will raise a tiny bit of awareness to any woman out there who has a mysterious rash that no one can assign a name to. Although the diagnosis doesn’t change my symptoms, it’s good to at least know what it is….and it’s a relief that I don’t have anything that can harm my baby or my family.

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The Wait

Again, it’s been a long time since my last blog…it’s becoming a trend.

Today I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. It’s hot, and all I wanna do is lie around naked or go swimming.

A few weeks ago, it was discovered through ultrasound that our baby is in a Frank breech position…in other words, she’s in a pike formation with her butt down where her head should be. Although I’m excited that she’ll prospectively be a diver, gymnast, or dancer some day, I was a bit disappointed. I was hoping for a natural birth experience, and a breech baby calls for automatic c-section. And no thanks, I’m flat out terrified of a natural breech delivery. However, we did try a version procedure with an area doctor who is renown for his baby-turning skills. Alas, no dice…my anterior placenta is just too thick and juicy, and got in the way. I tried some yoga, we tried ice packs, we tried a flashlight….It was settled, July 10 is likely to be our d-day…unless the stubborn booger wants to come sooner.

For 2 weeks now…let the waiting commence!!!
Commence the commute to work with our labor-day bag, including the toiletry bag which I have to remember to bring in and out if the house every morning and night. Commence the fear that I’ll go into labor during rush hour traffic. Commence the thoughts of “is that my mucus plug?”, and “am I peeing or is it my water breaking?”, and “wow, these Braxton hicks contractions hurt a little, are they the real ones?” Commence the avoidance of driving more than an hour away from the hospital. Commence the envisionment of a c-section birth, tackling my fears of a punctured bladder, or an accidentally scalpeled baby, or puking while in an OR table, or miserable recovery time, or lack of immediate skin-to-skin bonding, or lack of delayed cord clamping.

Fast forward to today.
48 hours from now, I will be in that OR, and we will become moms. It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for. I’ve come to grips with the cesarean procedure…I am fine with anything as long as our daughter is healthy and safe. I am anxious for our lives to be turned upside down and inside out with her arrival. I am embracing the most amazing change I’ll ever experience in my life. Baby girl, I can’t wait to meet you!

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